Even the rocks cry out in silence

It was January 20 of 2021 and I was in Dallas TX at a New Beginnings conference with my cousin. We were so pumped up and ready to receive what the Lord had prepared for the speakers to give. We got ready for bed knowing that the next three days would be filled with so many emotions, I just didn’t realize how many would hit me. We knew that the Lord was with us and that He is always doing something new. I had no idea I was going to have to release and fully surrender in order to get the experience He wanted me to have. 

It was around 4 something in the morning when I received multiple phone calls and text messages for me to call immediately. At that moment I got the news that my 9 year old Boxer London was sick, not just sick, but deadly sick. Two of my best friends Michael and Tiffany were separately house and dog sitting for me while I was out of town. They took her to the emergency vet clinic and told me that she was inside and it would be a few hours before they knew anything. I remember they kept saying not on my watch, she’s not going to die on my watch. I couldn’t sleep knowing my girl was sick, dying, hurting and that she was surrounded by strangers. 

I went outside to the back courtyard at the hotel we were staying at and began to cry out to the Lord, JESUS! I felt my spirit screaming King Jesus please be with her, save her, comfort her and please don’t take her because I lover her so much. I had just lost my 12 year old Jack Russell 4 months prior & it was still so fresh on my heart and this was like pouring gas on the fire. I couldn’t breathe and my nose was starting to run and my throat had a very painful knot in it that wouldn’t pass. I felt as if I couldn’t catch my breath, much less speak. I wanted to scream out so hard but my lips were moving and nothing was coming out. I know God could hear me, I know The Holy Spirit was with me and Jesus was listening to my spirit talk to Him. Jesus, can’t resist the broken, and at that moment I was completely broken. I felt like I wasn’t going to recover and my heart was hurting so bad. All I could do was stand outside in the misty rain and let my spirit cry out. 

I went back inside and called to see if they had an update for me and they said they took her from the clinic because they wanted to charge to much money and they didn’t have the equipment to check her out properly. I asked them to put the phone on speaker so I could talk to her. Even though I was over 500 miles away I wanted her to know I was with her. I asked my friends to lay their hands on London & I pleaded the Blood of Jesus over her and rebuked the Spirit of Death off of her in Jesus name. I continued to cry out to God, Please don’t let my baby suffer, Please God fix her, Save her! But, if it is your will to take her home before me then so be it, I fully surrender to you Father. 

I knew God was with me and London at the same time. I began to feel his love as my heart was breaking. I wasn’t sure if he was breaking things off of me or if this is what I had to go through as I surrendered. I tried to sleep, but it was impossible at that time. Around 3 pm I got a phone call from Michael and he said I don’t know how to tell you, he didn’t have to because I knew,  London didn’t make it. The whole time he was saying not on my watch. I felt so much heartache for them because they tried everything they could to save her. My friends felt like they failed me and themselves. I knew in that moment the enemy was attacking all of us & I wasn’t going to let him.

 I went back outside and began to praise the Father, I began to thank God for the time He gave me with London, for friends that loved her as much as I did, for friends who would fight for her while I was gone. I started shouting who I was to God, that I was the daughter of the High King of the Universe, that I was chosen, an ambassador for Christ, I was loved, free and highly favored by the Lord. Then I commanded the enemy to leave & I began to pray for supernatural sanity for my friends and declared Psalms 91 over them and I asked the Holy Spirit to comfort them. I knew God was with us & I asked him to redeem the timeline for them and to show them that He was with them. 

That night I walked into the conference with a broken spirit, but GOD continued to be with me and the presence of God was so strong and heavy over the next three night. I even found some candles in the gift shop that had a label that said Not on my watch. I knew then it wasn’t on our watch that God took London home, It was on His watch. He wanted me to fully surrender to him, I wouldn’t have been able to make it through those days without completely losing my mind if the presence of the Lord wasn’t with me. Over the next few days God began to speak to my spirit and I began to heal and the pain began to ease up. 

The last day I was at the hotel I was outside where I was crying out to the Lord the nights before and God spoke to me. He said turn around I’m about to show you things you haven’t been able to see before. I slowly turned around and I saw a rock that had not been there before that looked like it had a dog painted on the front of the rock. 

I then heard Psalm 61:2

From the end of the earth I will cry to you,

When my heart is overwhelmed; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. 

I realized then that God had manifested himself to me in a cloud when Bentley passed 4 months earlier and now He showed me that He was with me when London passed. 

Even the rocks cry out in silence and worship God.  He knew my pain and His love for me is so strong He couldn’t resist manifesting a dog on a rock so I could see it in the natural. 

Worship God! Love God! Seek God!